Wow. Woke up at 7am today, took out the bins, drove my bro to school, got home, made eggs for breakfast, then got ready. Left for Monterey at about 9am, dropped off a letter first, then went to Safeway and got some Saltines and cash for shopping later. Took about 2 hours to get to Monterey, and like halfway through a golf-ball sized rock got kicked up into my windshield and cracked it. The crack is growing :/ Oh well. Made it to Monterey at about 11:35, had to go a little ways for parking. Walked all the way down to the aquarium where I saw Hannah waiting, sitting on a concrete slab. I was really really really nervous oh man, I had no idea how to approach. She was reading something, so I sort of just walked in front of her and she looked up and I was like "hey!" and then we made some nervous conversation and decided what to do. We walked about 15 mins to a record shop, "Recycled Records". It had a dogs allowed sign and friendly owners. The selection was not very big, but it's a small little local shop, so variety wasn't expected. I didn't really see anything I wanted that I didn't already have, but Hannah got Modest Mouse (the green one I forget the name of right now that I listened to a lot in high school) and Ween (Quebec!). We didn't talk very much inside the store, we were still very shy. It was a little awkward. But then we left and walked around back to Cannery Row. We talked a little more then we headed to the beach. We trudged along the wet sand for a while until we reached some rocks and small cave-like indents. We climbed around on those for a while, checking it out. I thought it was pretty cool. It felt a little like those romance movies you see. I was preparing myself to catch her in case she slipped, now THAT would've been straight out of a billion movies. We talked and laughed a bit around the rocks, then eventually clambered out and ended up back on Cannery Row. We browsed a little tourist shop and then some odd clothing store, got nothing. Left and headed back up toward my car, not knowing exactly what we were gonna do. I was getting a little nervous because I felt like she might be getting bored and we didn't know what to do. So in my head I was like "we gotta go somewhere". We got to my car after another 10-15 min walk and passed by some adorable seals sun-bathing on a caged-off beach. Seals are so hilariously cute when they move, they basically do the worm dance and bob their heads. I love animals so much ahhh. After we made it to my car we set up the GPS thing to direct us to her dorm. I don't know what it was, but somehow we loosened up a bit after we started driving. We talked until we got to her dorm parking lot. Then we went into her dorm room, which was pretty small and housed 3 different people (including her). It was empty when we came in. I checked out the place, she showed me her bass, we played with her magnets. Then her roommate Tori came in, which was a little awkward. She doesn't really talk to her roommates at all, which is my fear of living in a dorm. I feel like I'd be the same. We left for the student center. They had an air hockey table, an arcade game thing, a DDR-type game, a jukebox, a few pool tables, and a foosball table. We thought we needed money to play air hockey so we went back to her dorm for quarters. We came back and found out you don't need coins, just need to push in the coin-loader and it goes for free. We had to get puck-hitting things (I dunno their names) at the desk. Desk-lady asked for my ID and I just said I didn't have it on me. Fooled her. We played air hockey twice, tied twice. After that I believe we went back to the dorm for a little bit, then went to get lunch. We didn't know where food was, so we just drove around blindly. We ended up at Sand City or something and had Burger King, which wasn't too bad actually. We talked and ate then made the trek back to the car and headed back to her dorm. When we got back her roommate had left. We didn't know what to do so I suggested we watch something. We watched Kids in the Hall for like an hour or more on Youtube, my first time seeing it. It was pretty funny, it's got a lot of bizarre humor like Tim and Eric, but it's got slightly more structured plots and much different acting styles. After that my neck was hurting pretty bad from tilting my head left to see the screen. We leaned back a bit. When we'd watched enough KitH we were again at a loss for what to do. I asked if she had a stereo and she pulled out her CD player. She played her new Ween and Modest Mouse CDs in full, and we just talked a lot while listening, it was nice. Then we started to lay down and listen and talk. Then we started listening to Blur, Radiohead, and Gorillaz. During, I think, Radiohead we turned the lights off to see if her roommate's glow-in-the-dark wall things actually glowed. They did--for like 5 minutes. We ended up keeping the lights off. We just laid on her bed listening to music and talking under a blanket in the dark for hours. Her roommates came in occasionally, which was sort of funny. At like 9 or 10pm we started cuddling/hugging and we were pretty close just laying together and falling asleep. It was kinda cute. Amnesiac stopped playing at about 10:30 but we just laid together in silence for like 30 mins, holding each other. I was surprised how close we got considering it was our first day hanging out. At 11pm I decided I'd better get leaving. I originally planned to leave at like 7pm or something, I really had no idea how the day was gonna unfold, so at 11pm I knew I would get home at 1am and I didn't wanna pass out on the way back or anything. So she walked with me to my car and we had a nice big long hug goodbye. I don't know if she likes me, but I kind of like her. She's got a nice personality, sense of humor, smarts, and I think she's cute. I hope we get to hang out again soon, it just sucks that she's almost 2 hours away. That's 4 hours of driving in a day, which is like 3/4 of a full tank given that I have a GPS device plugged in, music playing, and air conditioning going (lowest setting, but still on, otherwise it gets really stuffy). I'd be willing to go maybe once every week or every other week. I wish she could visit me, we wouldn't have to worry about her roommates because there is zero privacy in her dorm unless no one is there. We could hang out with Dominic and Ina, swim in my pool, go for a walk, (go bowling?), lay in my bed watching movies/shows or playing games, play drums and guitar or bass or piano or whatever, just jam. Maybe one day I'll drive out super early, like leave at 6 or 7 or something crazy, then pick her up and drive back to Livermore. Hell, she could probably get away with sleeping over since my grandma probably wouldn't know. Then I could just drop her off, or we could even hang out again in Monterey for a bit. Oh well, maybe. It was a good day, though.

WEIRD ASS DREAM. I don't know why but I was at a mall with (I think) Obama and a few friends. Then some sort of demon or spirit came and everything went dark. When the lights came back everyone was moved around but no one seemed hurt. Later I noticed Obama was acting strange. Somehow I found out the demon was inside of him and he started attacking us. I managed to grab a bat and we battled for some time. I was able to give him a good thwack in the head and the bat actually went inside his head and stuck, then he got really mad and just windfalled me. One of my friends managed to grab him and swung him over the railing and he flew and landed right on the bat which slid further into his head (very graphic) and we all thought he was dead. We went to investigate and he started wailing and I think he said "KILL ME NOWWWW" which freaked me the shit out. Then one of my friends ran and grabbed the bat and was trying to give the final blows but he couldn't bring himself to kill Shadobama. He started crying and I sprinted up and took the bat from him and looked at Shadobama straight in the eyes and sort of froze and tensed up. I gathered all my nerve and swung at his head, which sent some blood and bits of skull flying. I nearly threw up. But he wasn't dead so I just kept bashing his head in and my stomach was feeling so terrible and I was so close to vomiting, but then I woke up and just laid there thinking "why". This is the second dream I've had with Obama, except the first one he was like a priest telling me everything will be okay as a fire ravages the town.

Weird dreams. I was in some sort of cabin with family (though a lot of them weren't even familiar to me, definitely not my real family) and at one point I looked at my right leg and noticed there was a fleshy blob hanging from it. I grabbed it and it felt a little like numb skin, but it was really squishy. I wondered what it was for a while before realizing it was literally just my leg skin that was peeling off (something about me not taking my "fish oil" pills that are supposed to keep my legs together. My grandma apparently had the same thing and had to have painful surgery to correct it, which I was fearful of). Both my legs were just hanging down on the back-sides, like a turkey leg cut in half and hanging by a small bit of skin to the rest of the leg. It was really gross and it hurt. I think I ended up wrapping it or something. Then I was somehow at school in line for the office to ask a question or something. While I was waiting Emily came in with some sort of boyfriend and looked at me but just kept walking and didn't acknowledge me. I left and then bumped into Stephanie who told me that when we were younger she actually did like me. Then her boyfriend came by and they left and I kept walking toward a subway station. I think I just kept riding a train the rest of the night as my legs started to come apart and weird things happened around me. A lot of other stuff happened in the dream, a lot happening before where I started typing, but I can't really remember it.

Why am I so depressed all of a sudden

About 1/3 or 1/2 the way done with my short story. I think I wrote like 12 paragraphs last night, which is a ton considering it's taken me a couple weeks to get down 2 paragraphs. Maybe I'll wrap it up by the end of the week and get some feedback and edit it and actually send it in to the contest. That'd be cool to actually finish something.

Pretty busy day. 'sposed to go to a soccer game at 9am, slept in 'til noon, woke up to my phone ringing, 'twas Dominic. Hung out with him; we drove to San Francisco, miraculously, then ate at a sketchy McD's and then shopped at Amoeba for about 3-4 hours. I bought $80 of music thinking I was buying $40 of stuff, so I'm gonna have to lay off the music shopping for some time. Got some cool albums, though. Then at about 6:30 we headed back to Livermore then went to Gavin's house. Had some recreational fun and drink and just hung out and talked and had a good time until midnight. I beat Dominic at chess yet again, now I think we're 8-0. Christian drove me home and upon entering the house I was greeted by Matt Chaidez. Took a few shots with Kyle and had some vodka/coke, then Chris and David came over and we talked for about an hour. Then me, Allie, and Kyle talked as we waited for the broken spa to heat up. Never did. Now it's 4am. It's been a busy day. 

Made one of them tumblrs at the behest of a couple friends. Still gonna use this though, cause it's like an electronic diary that no one will read so I'm probably more likely to be freer here. Even on tumblr I'm shy :','( But I did find out that tumblr's pretty cool for aggregating various interests of mine into one site. I can follow science stuff, maths stuff, writers and their stuff, just cool stuff in general. Like today I found a music journalism kickstarter thing called Uncool where they're hoping to publish one long-ass article a week, no ads, no lists and arbitrary number reviews of 30 albums/week. Sounds pretty cool to me. Donated $38 so I get a snazzy shirt eventually maybe, and I'm thinking about writing a really nice article and sending it to them, maybe they'll be able to see past my inexperience in the writing biz and, if the article's good enough, actually publish it. And if they did that they'd pay me several hundred dollars, which would just be a nice bonus. Every so often I listen to an album or several albums from an artist and I just want to write a book about it all, point out some clever things they did, research the album/artists' background, etc. I already research basically every album I listen to, sometimes even researching each individual song. It's just really, really fun for me cause I get to find out what the music's all about and it helps me appreciate it more, and if I could write about that and help others appreciate an album, that'd be cool. Also gonna be trying to finish my short story for this writing contest, 1st place gets $800, and I could use some money. Even if I don't get 1st, 2nd, or 3rd, each entry gets a little critique sent back, which will be nice in helping me become a better writer. That's worth the $19 entry fee, I think. Oh, and I had a little thought about tumblr in general and why it's so popular, but I'll write about that somewhere else. Just some psychological explanation that popped into my head and made sense. Might be obvious, but sometimes obvious things need pointing out. Despite my lethargy today and slight depression yesterday and the day before, things seem to be rolling again.